There was already one of those huge air intake sob out loud breakdown things in Target as i registered a "To dad from your daughter" card in my periphery....i was only trying to go to a clearance end cap, for goodness sake, and was unprepared for such a sight.
But i sit here with tears in my eyes after trying to win a home depot gift card.
For entry into this particular giveaway, you had to say one of the traits your father passed down to you. Well, crap. Bring on the tears. He was amazing at math (didn't pass that down) and had a head for numbers. Anything could be made into a math problem with my dad, and i lived in fear of being put on the spot to add something quickly. Never has a game of Uno caused a young girl so much anxiety. Now toss out a fancy vocabulary word in every day conversation, that i could do, and that we had in common. Word games and puzzle books travel on every vacation with me, and i attribute that to him.
For their entries for the gift card, people were writing in all these great DIY traits. Well my dad didn't have even a pinkie's worth of diy in him. What truly amazed him was the fact that S and I are doing all these things on our home, and i know he felt that i was provided for, and in good hands, with someone who could literally support us. My dad loved looking at all the improvements we've made, and with every task completed it's a double edged sword for me. Of course i can't wait to show you all this basement progress that has taken years to complete, but god, how i wish i could see my father's face when the project is done.
It's really hard right now. I know i'm not the first person in their early 30's to lose their father, but this IS the FIRST father's day without him. The following weekend is his unveiling (which in Judaism is the revealing of the grave stone), followed two months later with the one year anniversary of his passing.
I'm just trying to get by.